This fact sheet will look at the less common ejaculatory disturbances of delayed ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation and anejaculation. There is a separate fact sheet for premature ejaculation.
It seems to take me a long time to ejaculate even though I am aroused, what's the matter with me, whose fault is it?
The problem that you describe of delayed ejaculation isn't anyone's fault. There could be a number of explanations for this although it is quite uncommon. Ejaculation is impaired and the man finds great difficulty reaching orgasm even though he wants to and is getting sufficient stimulation for this to occur. The causes may be physical or psychological. Physical causes could include, diabetes mellitus, prostatic disease and drug therapy especially some antidepressants and beta-blockers. Psychological causes are the most likely option if you are not affected by any of the above conditions. Sometimes men have subconsciously conditioned themselves to respond in a certain way or manner and ejaculation can only be achieved under repetition of these circumstances. Sometimes ejaculation can only occur with masturbation.
The severity of the problem is variable; some men are unable to experience ejaculation intravaginally under any circumstances and often some men find it difficult to show emotion at all. Treatment for these men will often involve psychosexual therapy from specialist practitioners. The aim of treatment is to relearn how to overcome the inhibitory behaviour that has been learned. This specialist help may well not be available on the NHS, but your GP may be able to put you in contact with one of the specialist organisations that deal with this probl